Why The Stop Online Piracy Act Is Retarded

So the government wants to pass a law that will let it shut down any website it wants in the name of protecting copyright. Unlike, say, jobs legislation, this law has bipartisan support and Obama might actually sign it, because apparently he has gone completely insane. For those unfamiliar, essentially this law would update the US Internet to be up to the control standards of such sterling democracies as China and Iran, to solve a problem that, oh wait, doesn’t actually exist.

But there are two big problems with this law, and we’ll detail them now, before we get shut off for disagreeing with the gubment.

First, unlike the RIAA and the MPAA, whenever actual adults with scientific training do a study of piracy, they find that, SURPRISE!, nobody is actually doing all that much of it!. Sure, people are occasionally doing it, but people with, say, $1000 in stolen music total 2% of the population. Stolen movies? 1%. Yeah, RIAA, maybe you should look to your broken economic model to figure out why you’re losing so much money.

Then there’s the whole minor matter of a free speech issue. In short, they can pass this law, but there’s no way it’ll get past the First Amendment. Are you kidding, guys? Do you really, really think that passing a law that says a website can be shut down because somebody puts a link to pirated content in a comment is going to pass any sort of Constitutional sniff test?

In short, it’s a stupid law that will fail. So let’s just take this Ol’ Yeller behind the barn and blow its brains out now, OK? Save us all some time and you a few lawsuits.