Miley Cyrus Hates Jay-Z and Probably You As Well

We wouldn’t write about Miley Cyrus over here so much if she stopped doing mind blowingly stupid shit.  Sure, she’s a kid, but famous kids need a team of people with poles and nets and such to stop them from being foolish in public.  When’s the last time Danny Pintauro did something stupid in public?  Never.  Know why?  His handlers have kept him in his pen since Who’s the Boss went off the air, that’s why.

Anyway, Miley is riding high on a wave of crapulence from her latest hit song “Party in the USA.” In fact, we posted a wicked awesome mashup of Miley and the Notorious B.I.G. somewhere on the site doing just that song a little while back.  It makes her music almost tolerable.

Part of the lyrics in her song refer to a Jay-Z song being on the radio, kicking off that aforementioned party across the nation.  So some interviewer took the time to ask Miley what song she was talking about.  And without a moment’s hesitation she points out she knows absolutely nothing about Jay-Z, she didn’t write the song and she doesn’t listen to pop music.  Take that Jay-Z, not only are you now a pop musician, you’re one Miley Cyrus will name drop but not listen to.  The only thing that’s worse than being wedged into a Miley Cyrus song is being insincerely wedged into a Miley Cyrus song.

As Miley goes on to explain, her song was just something she needed to promote her clothing line and she didn’t think it was going to be popular.  It’s funny that someone can be so jaded at the age of 16, but there’s something to be said for being produced in the Disney Greed Factory, apparently.  She’s barely old enough to drive and she’s at the point where they just give her music to promote other things because she needs a bigger empire and who gives a fuck what’s she saying, she certainly doesn’t.  There are probably still legions of kids and parents out there who think she’s a great influence for children with all kinds of fun songs, all the while not realizing that Miley Cyrus is apparently a tween-market sarlaac pit, anxiously awaiting someone to toss their money inside so it can be slowly digested.

In a final dig that no man deserves, Miley also points out that covering her dad’s brain-bleedingly awesome hit “Achy Breaky Song” would be as plausible as covering a Jay Z tune.  How can you have so much animosity towards someone you claim to not even know?