Friday Fail: 7 Amazing Videos of Bullies Getting One Punched

So there you were, playing with your Power Rangers in the sandbox, when all of a sudden your meat headed arch-nemesis stomps in, kicks the gold chest shield off of your Green Ranger, pushes you to the ground, and spits in your face. As he and his clan of mongoloid minions walk away laughing, your violent revenge fantasies kick in to overdrive; they burn through your brain, drip out of your eyes via rage tears, and spill out of your mouth in the form of a bestial child scream. You charge at the bully in an attempt to extract your poorly conceived interpretation of revenge. Within 3 seconds, and after your one attempted punch that can only be described as “very, very gay,” you were leveled like a man feeling the entirety of human suffering within a nanosecond.

You missed your biggest opportunity to knock him out. You suck.

So to satisfy your primal nerd rage, here are some videos we dug up that showcase some bullies that just happened to pick on kids on that one sweet, sweet day where the nerd’s power bar is blinking “MAX! MAX!”

The chances of you saying “HOLY SHIT!!” are pretty high.

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The School Boys

This here is a classic case of a small and young school boy getting tossed around by the older, taller one.

Notice the head pat after the little one lays out the taller one. That’s the little one comforting the taller one, letting him know that his dignity and self-respect will never return, and that it’s okay.

School’s Out!

Ah, yes. The old “After school. 3 o’clock. Monkey bars” shtick. Just replace the monkey bars with a loose circle of bloodthirsty onlookers that have questionable morals. This one take a little bit to develop, but if you wait it out you will be rewarded…or you can just fast-forward to the 1:15 mark.

Now, it may seem like the kid that performed the epic face punch was the bully in this scenario, but we beg to differ. If you listen very closely to the beginning of the clip, the face puncher can be heard saying “you wanna fight me, is that it?” and “I don’t have a problem with you, but if you want to do something, do it.” The kid that got knocked out is really the instigator of the fight, but he plays it off as if he is reluctant to put up his dukes. Perhaps he fears punching the other guy’s face clean off his head. If that’s the case, then he is probably a stupid person.

Also, isn’t just heart breaking to see that guys’ little brother flipping out like that? Yeah, well, severs him right for dressing like a junior douche.

The Sleep Puncher

There is almost nothing in this world that is more infuriating than an asshole waking up while you catch some Z’s.  Sure, the guys from Jackass give each other all manner of rude awakenings, but that shit just doesn’t fly out side of that one circle of dipshits. This video proves that…and in epic fashion no less.

For the sake of your own dignity, never, ever be a dick to somebody, and then pose them the “What are you going to do about it?” question. Yes, sometimes the person may not do anything about it. But if they do do something about it most of the pain you feel afterwards will be the result of your own stupidity hitting you in the face in the form of the other guy’s fist.

The Prolonged Towel Throw

The time it takes for a closed fist to leave the body and make contact with another human’s face is pretty quick. In fact, one scientific study showed that a human punch is “Fast as shit.” We’re not going to argue with science on that one.  For as fast as a punch may be, sometimes it takes a person a second to realize just how massive the damage of the punch was.

After some “Niggas” are exchanged and some blood is spilled, the one that got his face rocked seamlessly transitions his fighting stance in to a walk of shame. Almost as if the punch never actually happened. And, if you look closely at the final few seconds, the kid sadly lowers his head like he’s Charlie Brown just before he leaves the frame. There’s no joke to tag on to that. That is exactly what happened in the video and we just felt it needed to be put in to words.

Skateboarding Is Not a Crime

In some mystical far off land where the people don’t speak English (judging by the music that plays throughout the clip, it’s probably one of the “-istan” suffixed countries…or not) there are people that find skateboarding offensive. Or maybe they just dislike plants of wood with wheels on them. Whatever the reason may be, the best part about this video is not that it’s a one punch knockout, but the fact that it’s a series of one punch knock outs. “How does that make sense?” you ask.  “Just watch it,” we reply condescendingly.

You’ve gotta give some props to the bully here. After a couple of severe knockouts, he still manages to get up, toss the skateboard about 3 feet, and then have the balls to point menacingly at the kid that punched him as if he weren’t concussed.

Wasteland One Punch

Apparently, when you live in a country that looks like its experiencing mild to moderate nuclear fallout, the only thing you can really do to pass the time is start shit with people in hopes of getting punched straight in to a coma.

This is the story of one of those people. We apologize for the shitty (yet not shitty) Street Fighter Remix of the clip. It’s the only one we could find.

The mark of a true warrior is how he reacts to kicking another man’s ass. If you walk away while rolling your eyes and giving the international hand symbol for “Man, forget it,” you are the modern equivalent of a Spartan.

Shirtless Redneck Bully Gets Wrecked

This final clip doesn’t exactly fit the “One Punched” theme, but it’s the one that inspired this entire article, so we’re giving it an honorable mention.

The clip is a long, slow build that just explodes in to violent showcase of awesome. You can sit through the entire thing and just let the tension build, or you can skip to the 1:30 mark to get to the action.

When the gray shirt kid yells “I’m not gonna take this shit anymore” he wasn’t taking about the bully’s antics, he was making a broad statement that was meant to be heard by all shirtless rednecks around the country.