Twitter Sends Michael Beasley To Rehab

Miami Heat star player Michael Beasley has finally reached the upper echelon of the celebrity world as various news outlets are reporting of his enrollment in to a rehab program.

This story really started last week when Beasley began posting Twitter updates that made him seem less like a star NBA player, and more like a man that is being tortured by demons in an eternal hell dimension.

“Feelin like it’s not worth livin!!!!!!! I’m done”

And…

“I feel like the whole world is against me I can’t win for losin”

These erratic and seemingly unstable posts were further punctuated by his Institute for Bat-shit-fuck-nuts approved Twitpic posting of his brand new back tattoo.

This is Michael Beasley’s back. It has angel wings. It also has the words “SuperCoolBeas” a top it. Somehow, everyone was able to tear their eyes away from the tattoo that was obviously forced upon him by an alley dwelling meth-head with a stolen tattoo needled, and they noticed the small, rather innocuous plastic bags lying on the floor in the background of the picture.

Seeing as Beasley has a history of marijuana use, Miami Heat upper management felt it would be best if Beasley were to take some time off in a Huston rehab center to calm himself before he got all doped up and got a tattoo of a large breasted Hitler-wizard on his face that features the words “MagnanimousTittyFuhrer” across his forehead.