Twitter Hacked by Iranian Cyber Army

140 character expressions of self interest have never been more at risk than they are today.  Today, the scourge of the internet (the one that isn’t affiliated with Russian bondage porn) took advantage of poor, innocent Twitter.  That scourge was the Iranian Cyber Army aka the Gmail Jihad aka a guy who’s probably living in America.

Twitter, as you know, is a utopian land run by naïve, child-like CHUDs who have no idea what internet security is and burst into tears when they see an open flame.  If you’ve been paying attention, this is about the 80^th time Twitter has been hacked.  It’s entirely possible Twitter is actually housed in a tissue-paper wrapped pastry.

But what did these cyber villains want with a site that is actually designed to stunt thought and make you vomit brain turds in tiny, chestnut sized morsels (by the way, are you following us on Twitter?  You should)?  The horrifying answer became clear in the messages left by the ne’er-do-wells;

U.S.A. Think They Controlling And Managing Internet By Their Access, But They Don’t, We Control And Manage Internet By Our Power, So Do Not Try To Stimulation Iranian Peoples To….

NOW WHICH COUNTRY IN EMBARGO LIST? IRAN? USA?
WE PUSH THEM IN EMBARGO LIST
Take Care.

Then they said this;

“In the name of God, As an Iranian this is a reaction to Twitter’s interference sly which was U.S. authorities ordered in the internal affairs of my country…”

Funnycrave readers, we ask that you return to your computers and finish this article after you clean the panic shit off your office chair and remove spackle wave that crested your lower back there.

Indeed, it seems the Iranian Cyber Army hates grammar.  It’s counterintuitive then that, of all the websites on earth, they would attack the one that has done more to completely obliterate the English language in the last year than any other, but at the same time it’s fiendishly clever, isn’t it?  Because how dare America set up this completely senseless website that’s a celebration of frivolity, pointlessness, self-aggrandizement and, above all, the utter lack of even the most basic tents of English communication when countries that traditionally do not speak English, or even use the same alphabet, are supposed to be the ones with English grammar issues.

English is a hard language to learn and there are any number of mistakes one can make with structure and syntax as they learn the ins and outs.  And to have this site, jammed in the heart of a country full of native English speakers, why it’s a slap in the face to anyone who’s had to struggle to learn the language.

Twitter, you’re on notice.  The rest of the world will not stand for your insolence.  Or, if we were to Tweet that:

@Twitter – lulz! Yer on notice rst of world won’t stand fer yer insense!