This Just in: Scientology is All Kinds of Fraudulent (in France)
Say what you will about the French, but those beret-wearing sons of bitches can smell bullshit from a mile away. Historically, this is because Paris reeked of feces and could often be smelled by travelers long before they saw it on the road ahead. That line’s not even a joke, go look it up. Paris was a swill heap.
That aside, our French friends also won’t abide goofy pseudo-religions. They’ll abide goofy, well-established religions that are well ingrained to the culture but that’s probably the result of some kind of grandfather clause. Nowadays your religion can just pack up and head to Switzerland because it won’t play in the land of wine and cheese. As a result, Scientology has never been recognized as a religion there and is considered a sect, in much the way you and your friends would be considered a sect if you all started dressing like Lady Gaga and worshipping a false penis god.
Because French Scientologists (and not other Scientologists, right?) are filthy criminals they were found guilty of their filthy crimes. Namely, defrauding members out of a pantload of cash in exchange for their fraudulent cures and therapies and so on. Which brings us back to a fun tangential relation to the beginning of the article. Back when you could smell Paris before you saw it, the same sort of people would come and defraud the locals by selling them fake pieces of a saint’s anus or an elixir meant to cure the pox that was mostly horse urine and brandy.
So yeah, French Scientologist have to pay a heck of a lot of money back to former members who they ripped off. Because they’re frauds. At least in France. Officially.
Our boy Tommy Davis said the church will appeal the French decision because the French are in the Dark Ages and the church has won similar trials elsewhere in Europe. Tommy goes on to not mention that technically they’re not even a religion in the US, they just have tax exempt status, and all the numerous times the church has been in legal trouble elsewhere around the globe, for years and years. Likely this is because Tommy is busy, so we’ll cover all the other awesome crimes the church has committed.
- Operation Snow White was a massive conspiracy in the 1970’s in which Scientology members stole documents from over 100 government agencies and private corporations that were in some way critical of the group. God knows if someone is critical of you, the best way to shut them up and prove them wrong is to rob them. This lead to the conviction of L Ron Hubbard’s wife. The church founder’s wife was a dirty criminal.
-The church regularly tries to sue anyone who is openly critical of them or exposes their “secrets” which are often “fucktarded.” This has been shot down by courts who point out copyright and trademark law doesn’t cover you being a douche and trying to stop people from pointing out what a douche you are.
- The church has been accused of making false claims about ailments in can treat with its e-meters, which research shows are actually etch-a-sketches that have watched batteries taped to them.
- Fraud charges had previously been filed against Scientologists in France, Spain and Belgium.
-Scientology has the honor of being the only religion, in the history of Canada, to be convicted of breaching the public trust.
-Despite all this, Top Gun is still an awesome movie. Rock on, Tom Cruise.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009 5:51PM
Judging a religion and believes is very dangerous. If we were to judge Islam, Judaism, Christianity and so on we would find all kind of "bullshit". A Scientologist can make fraud but to judge millions of people for what they believe is wrong. And you do that. Many Jewish people, Muslim people and Christian people have used their religion in a criminal way, but to say that all of them are criminals or that the religion is criminal would be very wrong. Many scientists used their knowledge in a criminal way – physiologists, physics doctors, people who have degrees in economy etc, it doesn't make all of their knowledge and science criminal.
You can say whatever about Scientology, but remember that anyone can say what they want about what you believe. Scientology exists only 60 years, but I don't think that their history is so much different than any other movement tried to change people for the better has suffered. I think there are stupid and criminal people in all of the society, but judging people way of life and believes is always a recipe for war. So I think your post is nothing but ignorance.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009 9:54PM
Uh … no. Yes, there is insanity in any religion, but Scientology goes beyond kookiness and into criminal behavior. And no, it's not random people who happen to practice Scientology who are committing these crimes, it's the *Church itself*. If these people were just practicing quietly not many people would care, but the CoS has waged campaigns against it's critics and against ex-members that can only be described hostile and vicious.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009 5:25PM
Go bawwwww about your nasty little $ci-cult somewhere else, Orr.
We WILL say what we want about it, and so what if they mock our beliefs? – Sane people have a sense of humor, or can at least take it without embarrassing ourselves by bawwwwing like little babies about it.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009 10:49PM
There are subtle and not-so-subtle differences between religions and cults. Does your religion force you to cut off contact with your family and friends? A cult does (scientology does). Does your religion have an omnipotent leader who, when challenged, orders beatings? I have never heard the archbishop of canterbury ordering or carrying out physical violence against any cardinals. Miscavige allegedly beats his subordinates. Does your religion force you to stay in places you don't want to stay and take your children away from you to go work in forced labor camps? According to a recent Nightline report, Scientology does. Does your priest take your confessional, write it down and then if you decide to quit being a catholic turn that information over to the newspaper and your employers to discredit you and ruin your life? Scientology does.
There may be a fine line between a benign faith and a dangerous cult. scientology seems to be way over on the side of Jim Jones, David Koresh and Charles Manson. Way over the line.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009 10:56PM
Hi Larry Johnson, great article here! Very thorough with a spice of humor.Thank you.
Hey Orr, Scientology is the biggest con game this and the last century. It's a pseudo religion and not even recognized as anything but a cult in France and many other counrties, rightfully so. Your point is moot.
Saturday, October 31, 2009 1:02AM
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