The Woman That Cries At The End of Every Movie

Film is a powerful art form. It is the only art form that is an encapsulation of all other art forms. It’s images, it’s writing, it’s music, it’s performance. It’s everything. All of these elements combine to create a singular experience that evokes a wide range of emotions, from laughter to tears. Some films do this better than others. As a man, I can only cry at the end of Terminator 2 when Arnold is being lowered down in to the molten goo. His hand slowing turning in to a “thumbs up” just before it is overtaken by said molten goo touches that chord in the hearts of all men – the part of us that wants to give or receive an approving hand gesture moments before our/someone else’s inordinately manly death.

A good film can bring anyone to tears. But for one woman, any film can reduce her to a blubbering, emotionally handicap hysteria. That’s the story behind this unnamed married couple and their Youtube video. The guy decided to show his wife the final chapter of the holy Star Wars trilogy, Return of the Jedi. After her extreme reaction to the end of the movie, he grabbed his camera and, like a respectful and loving husband, slapped the video of her breakdown on the internet for the world to see.

The only reason that our lab of Funny Crave scientists could come up with to explain the wife’s reaction is that she has lived perhaps the craziest life of any human ever, which allows her to personally and emotionally relate to every movie she watches. So when she watched Jedi, she wasn’t crying because she it was a sad ending, but because her own father was probably encased within a hard plastic shell that prevented him from seeing his own daughter with his own eyes.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

For her sake, we just hope she doesn’t fly too much. Watching “Marley and Me” while in a tube soaring thousands of feet in the air, while surrounded by people mentally prepared to snap at the first sign of crazy, would get her arm snapped back and her head slammed down in to a try table as she’s being detained by an air marshal who’s yelling “reel back your crazy, M’am!”