The Stink of Divorce Hits Malaysia

Divorce rates in the US are pretty high, something like 107%, which is so high is doesn’t even make sense but if people on Maury can be 1000% sure they didn’t father some acquaintance’s baby, then I guess it all works out mathematically in the end.

Malaysia, a country that is not the US, is also having an issue with divorce.  How much of an issue?  So much of an issue that the government is taking action and you know how much governments hate to do things.

The plan to keep couples together is hardcore and badass.  Relationship counseling?  No.  Bathing?  Yes.

It seems to be rather implicit (and sometimes explicit) that the problem with marriages in Malaysia is that everyone reeks.  Like shit, it seems.  Not only is the government sponsoring classes to teach romance, they’re hiring image consultants to teach women how to stay attractive.  Part of staying attractive means wearing perfume.

That statement, alone, means nothing.  Women wear perfume, that’s cool.  No biggie.  But the government is also encouraging husbands to wear clean pajamas and reduce body odors.  And they’re recommending couples bathe together.  Those three things together indicate that Malaysians are getting divorced because they’re rancid.

Currently, in Malaysia, the men wear filthy pajamas and have the air of crotch cheese about them while the women presumably smell like low tide.  Thus, no one wants to spend time together.  And that’s how marriage breaks down.

We at FunnyCrave want to preserve marriage as well, but we have a strict “no deli crotch” policy that we feel can be adopted by members of either sex to help in picking and sticking with the perfect mate.  Basically, if your significant other smells like cured meats below the belt, you have grounds for separation.  Marriage vows are one thing, but being repulsive is quite another.