Comments on: The Most Retarded Black Eyed Peas Lyrics

By: Nicolas

Nicolas — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 15:58:59 +0000

And here I thought that I was the only one that thought their lyrics made no sense. I guess their fans really don't care about lyrics but just the same old beat repeated ad nauseum. Bring back the old time rappers from the 1980's

By: bazinga

bazinga — Tue, 18 May 2010 22:59:49 +0000

Ian, marry me. I have breasts and whatnot. Just don’t let your sperm go up my ears. Seriously. Unless you plan on locking me in a room with Aaron, listening to BEP, in which case.. please do. I bet it works better than ear tampons. Because you’re THAT awesome.

And Aaron, really? Not that I read more than two lines of that shit you wrote, because, let’s be honest, I didn’t. I think Adam did, and now he won’t stop bleeding from his eyes ( Adam, I suggest you get some Fortey’s sperm in your eyes, I do believe it will work miracles – because he’s awesome, etc etc).

Anyway. Ian. <3

By: AdamTodBrown

AdamTodBrown — Wed, 12 May 2010 03:31:58 +0000

Pussy, unless you are posting to say you accept the challenge, don't post anything at all. You talentless hack.

By: Aaron

Aaron — Wed, 12 May 2010 01:26:50 +0000

Hm… what does Ian make in a year?

By: IanFortey

IanFortey — Tue, 11 May 2010 14:18:36 +0000

I want that 500 word apology written in the tears of your family when they see the horror you've wrought, Erin. You may have to mix in some ink or something so it's readable, however.

By: AdamTodBrown

AdamTodBrown — Tue, 11 May 2010 14:14:03 +0000

Careful what you wish for, Aaron. I run the show here, I can make that dream come true for you. So here's what we're going to do…

I'm going to pick an artist, someone known for insane lyrics. My choices, Ghostface Killah or Lil' Wayne. Haven't decided which one, but definitely one of those two. After that, I'm going to pick ten songs. The ten songs that, as determined by me, have the craziest lyrics. And then, you're both going to write THE EXACT SAME ARTICLE that Ian wrote here. And we'll let the people decide who does a better job.

If you win, I will pay you $150 and give you a permanent slot writing feature articles for Funnycrave.

If Ian wins, you will pay him $150 and deliver me a 500 word apology to Fortey for disrespecting his awesome and to all of the readers for wasting their time with your half assed attempts at writing internet comedy which I will then post on Funnycrave.

If you're afraid of homefield advantage, fear not. I have contacts all over the internet who will gladly send their fanbase over to join in the judging. Internet writers listen to talentless hacks like you talk about how inferior they are every day. And it's mighty easy for you to do, being that you get to hide behind your anonymous internet comments to do it. There is not a site on this here internet that would not promote the shit out of a showdown between someone like you and a goddamned internet comedy machine like Ian Fortey (who I honestly don't think you really know that much about, because saying you're better at his job than he is is QUITE a fucking claim. For all intents and purposes, I'm the boss at this site, and I'm not even better at his job than he is.)

I anxiously await your reply. Pussy.

By: Aaron

Aaron — Tue, 11 May 2010 03:40:01 +0000

No, I want Ian's job because I'm better at it than him.

By: AdamTodBrown

AdamTodBrown — Tue, 11 May 2010 00:20:27 +0000

Erin wants to have Will.I.Am's ear babies!

By: IanFortey

IanFortey — Mon, 10 May 2010 22:35:17 +0000

You're awesome at this internet commenting thing. It's weird that it's fueled by your gay love for the Black Eyed Peas but that;s OK. Keep up the good work, Erin.

By: Aaron

Aaron — Mon, 10 May 2010 21:19:34 +0000

Your analysis of the lyrics was incomplete and obviously contrived. Yes the lyrics suck. No, you're not funny for taking a fragment of the lyrics and then mocking how nonsensical that fragment is. The analogy of impregnating somebody's brain is really weird, and not a great line. Agreed. Nobody would defend BEP as lyrical geniuses, but you're just not funny. Of course the lyrics sound retarded when you take them out of context. It could be VERY funny to point out how awkward the pregnancy analogy is, but I am showing you when I point out how far you had to stretch the joke :

You:
Till my sperm is up? Does that indicate Will.i.am or whoever graced us with those lyrics has some kind of spermeter that needs to build up to an appropriate level (based on time, pressure, viscosity or whatever) before he’s able to spooge? I don’t need to know that.

This "joke" is premised on the lyrics being taken out of context and being incompletely quoted. You're not clever for doing this, you're just pathetic. Any douche can do it – here's an example.

IanFortey: "keep defending lyrics about ear-fucking"

You want me to defend these lyrics? I was under the impression you thought it was dumb, but now you apparently are rallying people to DEFEND the lyrics. I didn't need to know that about you. I bet you get your jollies while listening to songs about ear-fucking. Sick, man. We didn't need to know that about you.

By: Aaron

Aaron — Mon, 10 May 2010 21:12:20 +0000

I don't like BEP or this style of music at all. And ok I'm a douche on the internet…only the douchiest of internet users copy pastes fragments of lyrics to contrive a rant in the hopes that somebody will think they are funny.

By: AdamTodBrown

AdamTodBrown — Mon, 10 May 2010 19:06:17 +0000

Ha ha…you have shitty taste in music!

Also, only the douchiest of internet users says "pwn." Fuck "pwn" and the World of Warcraft loser virgin it rode in on.