The Lindsay Lohan Conundrum

Seems that Ms. Lohan did a photoshoot for Muse recently (we’re forced to assume Musa is a magazine of some kind) in which she appears in that skuzzy pseudo-whore kind of atmosphere that’s so popular with the kids.  There’s some ass and some boob and implications of a threesome.  That’s delightful.  But it proposes a question.  A very serious question: Would you do Lindsay Lohan?

Lindsay Lohan’s career has seen her start out as an annoying child actor, evolve into a hot late teens and early 20’s actress and degrade into what can best be described as the decrepit zombie of a girl who vaguely looks like Lindsay Lohan.  She was born in 1986 for God’s sake.  She’s 23 and she looks like Teri Garr.

We’ve all cringed at photos that only the crypt keeper would wank to and wondered if her blood has been replaced with kahlua yet.  Thus, the natural next step in her evolution, after making a horrible stripper movie and becoming a laughing stock as a fashion designer, is an 80’s themed photo set of debauched pseudo sex in which she looks like she’s putting out for Percocet.

So on the one hand Lindsay Lohan looks kind of like she would taste like tobacco and leather and would probably give you VD if you sat on a couch together, but on the other hand you can’t see her ribs or spine in any of these photos and it’s possible she may be on a solid food diet these days, which is quite something.  And you can see sideboob in one of those pictures, one of the four awesomest things in the Universe as identified by top scientists.

So, as men and some ladies as well), we’re left with a dilly of a pickle.  She’s starting to look healthy again, less like a Romero creation, though the air of radiation sickness is almost palpable.  Is she hot again?  Is it possible?

Lohan’s last movie was actually a made for TV flick that ended up on ABC family, which on the acting ladder is one step above the person who’s wowed by the latest Jack Lalanne juicer in an infomercial.  Her most publicized photoshoot previous to this was an offputting Marilyn Monroe homage in which she appeared to be a sickly albino.  So sure, this is actually a step up.  But…would you do her?*

*Funnycrave.com takes sole responsibility for the classiness of this post.