The Friday Fail: The Burnout

Yeah, I got my new truck. Yeah, it’s pretty fucking sweet, bro. It’s a red one. Red makes it go faster. It adds like, 85.73 horsepower? Yeah, 85.73. Oh, and I can burnout, dude! I can totally make my wheels go round and round with absolutely no forward momentum. It’s crazy awesome, bro! What? What’s that? You want to see me burnout? Oh—oh, okay, yeah, uh, s–sure. Yeah, I can totally do that. I’ll just, uh, get in my truck here and, uh, do the thing with the pedals and the driving and the creating of smoke with the tires and…yeah. It’s gonna be pretty awesome sooo…you might want to stand back because I don’t want the awesomeness of my Dodge SRT-10 injuring you.

So, yeah, I’m in the truck now and I’m gonna do the peeling out thing and, uh, here we go…I guess…It’s gonna be sick, dude! Just, like, keep the camera rolling the whole time just in case anything awesome happens. I mean, you know, I might perform the sweetest burnout ever and you might want to put the video of it on the internet. You know, so my ledgend will live on and such? Yeah, I’ll be able to tell hot chicks that I have videos on the internet. Videos of me doing awesome shit. I’ll get so much dic — uh, pussy with this video, dude. So yeah, uh, here I go with the burnout…

…Hey, is that a puddle of water?…