The Friday Fail – It’s Horrifying

“My balls are bleeding!”

“It’s the gooch!”

“No, ambulances are expensive”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh-Ahhhhhhh!”

These are just some of the words spoken in today’s Friday Fail.

Skateboarding is a rough sport. If you type the words “skateboard” and “fail” in to Youtube, you’ll get hours upon hours worth of footage with one common theme: people getting the shit kicked out of them by gravity and solid objects. But this video is something else entirely. I don’t know about you, but I found this video to be more disturbing than all of the other thousands of videos of people breaking their asses. I used to be all in to skater culture, so I’ve seen my fair share of gnarly wipe outs and horrific injuries, but this one…this one is just messed up. I think it’s because it employs the usage of what I call “The Bruce Theory.”

Bruce was the name Steven Spielberg gave to the shark in Jaws. What made Bruce so terrifying was that we never really saw him until late in the film. It was the withholding of the shark’s image that made it truly terrifying. In the video above, we never see the blood the kid in the red shirt is screaming about. We don’t see his horrifying gooch tear. We just see a kid screaming like a person that just tore the area between their sack and anus. And we also see a group of friends that are sitting idly by as their friend is, literally, screaming directly at them while holding his crotch. They were either in a state of paralyzed shock, or they’re bigger assholes than I could have ever imagined. Even the assholes from Jackass rush to the aid of an injured friend, but it isn’t until about 20 seconds in to the screaming, when the kid says “I’M BLEEDING!” that any of the kids in the video get off their asses to start pretending they give a damn.

Kid in the red shirt, wherever you are, we hope you’re okay.