The Friday Fail – What A Bitch

Some pranks involve elaborate set ups with intricately plotted events and occurrences that lead to the triggering of an elegantly complex contraption, which infects the prank’s subject with small molecules of shame and embarrassment.

Others involve calling a guy in to a room, then hurting his dick. Hard. Hard dick hurting.

Today’s fail certainly falls in to the latter category.

When (lets’ call him Sven) called his buddy  (let’s call him Daleford Von Trucks…berg…ville…Daleford Von Trucksbergeville) in to the room, Von Trucksbergville’s was as excited as a dog greeting his owner after a long day apart. Even though we can’t quite make out what is being said in the video’s open seconds, the pure joy and merriment in Von Trucksbergville’s eyes and voice can still be understood.

But in a Dickensian twist of fate (we have no idea if that’s actually “Dickensian”), Sven shatters Von Truckbergsville’s world of innocence. In an instant, he decimates his happiness. Within the blink of an eye, he shot Von Trucksbergville’s thinly concealed and scantily protected balls with a paint ball gun.

What follows is maybe the most emasculating display of physical agony on the internet.

In the middle of that display of bitch-hood is the soft, quite realization creeping in to the minds of the prankster(s) behind the camera: “Oh, shit. I think we actually hurt him, dude.”

Luckily, Daleford Von Trucksbergville saves the viewing audience the embarrassment of actually feeling guilty for enjoying his pain by opting to flee the room in a manner that is so girly we’re surprised his tear ducts didn’t naturally secret streaks of watery mascara down his cheeks.

Oh, and a big Thank You goes out to whomever deiced to run that video in fast motion. That’s just brilliant.