The Friday Fail – The Pathetic Fist Fight [Video]

Have you ever wondered what a Jet Li or a Jackie Chan movie would look like if Jet Li or Jackie Chan had cerebral palsy? Well, wonder no more as to men in what we think is Hong Kong demonstrate exactly what that would look like after  two gentlemen get in to an brawl after a minor fender bender.

While the fight as a whole proves that if the shit were to go down and humans were left to fend for themselves in the vast devastated wasteland that was once Earth, some people would be wiped out within the first 3 minutes; it also proves that along as those weaklings have a metal pipe, they’ll be able to hold out long enough to see the entire group of wanderers they’re roaming with get eaten by the cannibal hordes a few minutes before they themselves get devoured.

Of course, it’s a bit disingenuous for me to make fun of these guys for their shitty fighting skills. One of the last fights I was ever involved in was in elementary school with a friend. We got in to some kind of argument — one thing led to another and we were deadlocked in a heated test of physical superiority. By that I mean we grappled each other like Rugby players in a scrum for about 15 minutes, slowly wandering around the playground. No one stopped us. It just kept going and going and going. What was, at first, an exciting battle between friends that fellow classmates cheered on in a bloodthirsty rage, eventually turned in to two idiotic children hugging each other for an extended period of time while the onlookers got bored, stopped cheering, and just kind of walked away.

If only I had a metal pipe back then…