The Friday Fail – The Fire Fart Fail [Video]

Holding a lighter to your ass and unleashing a vicious, methane-filled fart is a human past time; just like hockey is to Canada, hating French people is to America,  and being a complete douchebag is to France. It’s one of life’s simplest, most immature pleasures. There’s a certain self-gratifying power to lighting a fart. It’s almost like filling that void in your heart that so wants to be a superhero that wields the power of flame.

It’s primitive, really. It’s all about knowing that you can be the master of one of nature’s most destructive forces. And you’re mastering it with the wind passed out of your butthole. So, that’s, like, total dominance of nature. Anyone can dominate Mother Nature, but doing it with your naughty bits just adds an extra F-U to it.

But, sometimes, when you say “Suck it” to nature, nature responds with “No, no! You are the one that is to suck it!” Like the video below.

I can say a lot about this video, but something else seemed to pop out at me while watching it. This video seems to follow the same pattern that all internet videos of people getting hurt seem to follow.

1)      People giggling

2)      The set up for the act

3)      A hush falls over the crowd

4)      The hush is broken as the people behind the camera go in to a convulsive giggle-fit after seeing the person in front of the camera stand in an awkward position as he attempts to do a stupid thing

5)      The stupid thing happens and works very well…

6)      …for a second, then it goes haywire and the dude doing the stunt ends up with a singed asshole and, somehow, slightly blackened and very sensitive nipples.

7)      Everyone behind the camera freaks out and yells all manner of shit because they think yelling frantically will reverse time and prevent the accident from happening.

8)      The video ends because either A) they simply edited it to end at that point, or B) the camera operator shuts off the camera, realizing that if the guy doing the stunt dies, the video could convict him in court.