The Friday Fail – Golden Kitties Can’t Jump

Ah, the life of an underappreciated 3^rd rate college mascot. Oh, so dreadful. Not only are you at all times the most easily mocked person within 1,000 feet of the sporting event at hand, but if the apocalyptic shit were to hit the fan for whatever reason, you would be the one everyone eats first. The fact that most of the time you’re dressed like an animal doesn’t help much, either.

So it should be of no surprise to you, man-in-cougar-suit, that when you attempted that yoga ball slam dunk, nobody cared too much about your well being. The precise reason for this is simple: humans like seeing other humans get hurt. You got hurt dressed like a cat. Furthermore, you got hurt while dressed like a cat, and while attempting to run and jump off of a large rubber ball – a maneuver that couldn’t have possibly ever worked, even during practice sessions.

Case Closed.