Swedish Cops & Penis Pranks

Europe is awesome, let’s get that out of the way right now.  Maybe there’s a bit of a snobby reputation, but you can’t discount the continent that not only produced the Renaissance, but some of the most shameless pornography on Earth.  Plus wicked beer.

So anyway, over in Sweden where blonde is the new blonde and nothing is at it seems, some Nordic, Aryan cops were busy stopping chocolate thieves with their very handy knives when they took a break to do what all good cops do – sneak over to a female officer’s car and rub their cocks on it.  Then they blogged about it.

The thing about this is that it happens so often in Sweden they gave it a name.  How often would people have to wipe their cocks on your stuff before you felt it was deserving of that act to have its own label?  Like saying “he wiped his cock on my car” just takes up too much time because it happens so often you need a more succinct label for it.  It’s called “olla.”

And really, I haven’t filled you in properly yet.  Right now you’re probably thinking of some dude named Bjorn in a spandex cop uniform pulling out a waxed ballsack and teabagging the bumper of a fuel-efficient Swedish police vehicle.  Oh no.  That’s not right at all.

According to the blog written later, this cop, and another cop (so we have two wangs at large here) rubbed their junks on door handles, window buttons, the gear shift, steering wheel, police radio and whatever else they could stretch their little buddies to reach.  They pretty much actually fucked the car.  Two cops.  On purpose, not because of some really crazy Swedish disease or anything.  Just because they were sitting there one day enjoying meatballs and furniture that doesn’t come assembled and and probably this conversation went down;

“Rutger?”

“Yes, Gunnar?”

“Do you think we should take our schloodles and wipe them on Officer Sigrid’s motor vehicle?”

“Oh, Rutger, what a splendid idea.”

“Yes, Gunnar, I feel the same way.  I feel as though I should place my schloodle upon every surface.”

“I concur.  I am going to wash her upholstery with my milk-dampened scrotum.”

“Marvelous!  Pass the gravlax and prinskorv!”