Sweden Burns Bunnies for Fuel; Sick Thrills

The people of Sweden are monsters and if they are not stopped, they will sate their sick hunger on the flesh of man.  That’s a quote.  You can quote it.  Directly.

News out of the Land of Sinister Awfulness is that the government, in an effort to be energy efficient while at the same time being diabolical, is now using innocent little bunnies as fuel.  In fires.

Every year bunnies are culled because the Swedish hate cuteness.  They say it’s to protect flowers and shrubs, but who the fuck cares about flowers and shrubs?  They’re plants.  They fucked up evolution so badly the don’t even have faces.  They’re about as alive as the cast of an NBC sitcom.

Nonetheless, to protect these precious “shrubs”, Swedes armed with rifles track down bunnies and blow them to kingdom come.  And now they freeze their trophy corpses in their Doom Freezers while the hunters wait outside and talk about how they love chaos and destruction.  Then they burn the bunnies at a “bioenergy” plant, which is a fancy name for “Hades,” to heat some made up shit called the Värmland region.  Seriously?  Värmland?  What the hell is that over the “a”?  That’s not even English, Sweden!  We’re not that stupid.

Last year, 6,000 bunnies were culled by Swedish Death Knights and this year they have their sights set on taking out and burning no less than every bunny.  Every bunny that there is.  Do you have a pet rabbit?  Keep it away from those blonde, Nordic types or it’ll be in your barbecue warming “Värmland” before you know it.

Undoubtedly, if this years orgy of pain and fire is a success, next year the Swedes will move on to dogs.  And from there the only thing standing between them and a human cull is wolverines, goats and elephants.  And do you know how many elephants there are in Sweden?  Not too fucking many.  Not too fucking many at all.