Steven Tyler Fights Gravity; Loses

Excuse me, ma'am. Do you know Steven Tyler?

Aerosmith frontcryptkeeper Steven Tyler, perhaps high on his own sense of entitlement, or narcotics, chose to snub the laws of physics as we know them and attempted a dance routine unfettered by some manner of surface on which to do such a thing, known in the popular vernacular as “ground.” The result? Newton and his long-time thug gravity knocked Tyler’s ass right down. Right the hell down.

Performing in South Dakota, the sound system failed during Love in an Elevator, possibly to protect itself from having to hear Love in an Elevator. Tyler, ever the showman despite being 61 years old, figured he’d entertain the crowd in the interim by doing a little dance number. He figured wrong and shimmied his multi-colored scarves and exposed ribcage right off the stage.

Fans were treated to Tyler tumbling ass over tea kettle into the crowd. After which he was airlifted to hospital because when regular folks fall they have to take the bus but when celebrities do they get helicopters. According to reports he suffered minor head and neck injuries and a shoulder injury, but the seriousness of that isn’t known. Maybe it’s one of those really bad shoulder injuries, the kind that necessitate helicopter rides. One of those killed Nixon, we hear.