Shawty It’s Ur Booty – Journal of a Not-Gay Guy

July 7^th, 2009,

Dear Diary,

Hi, it’s me again, Todd.  I hope you’re cool, bro!  I’m doing super sweet.  Me and my buddies at the frat house just made this totally sweet music video.  It was me (Todd), Spencer, Chad, Brad, Nick, Tyler, Falcon, Zach and Xander.  Oh man, we were totally awesome.

I’m including the link to the youtube vid so I can remember it forever and forever, diary.  I know you’ll love it too.  Man, we’re so heterosexual, too.  Thought I should mention that.

The song we did is Shawty it’s ur booty.  Ha!  Look how they spelt “your.”  That’s mad funny.  It’s a song by an afro-american and it’s about ass.  We loves us some ass, holla!  Ha!  For real though, bro, ass is sweet.  Not always, I guess, sometimes it’s a little salty.  Man, Xander gets so sweaty after we blast our glutes together I bet his ass is like a massive salt lick.  And plus it’s wicked hairy, bro!  You know what I’m saying, right!  Yeah, man.  I mean, he conditions it, and it’s really silky smooth, but wow, that’s some crazy long ass hair.

I’ve been keeping my ass hair trimmed pretty well.  It was hard to manage at first because I was trying to do it myself and bending over with a hand between my legs to spread my ass and then scrape the razor down the crack with my other hand was crazy hard, yo.  But we worked out a system so it’s all good now.  The TP just glides all up in my crack when I wipe now, it’s so sweet.

That reminds me, did you know Tyler is missing a finger?  I totally never noticed until last night!

Anyway diary, just thought you should check out that video.  The part I liked is when I was working my ass in front of the camera, oh man.  Felt like I had something all up in there, I guess.  Like, to make me work it, you know?  For the video, I mean.  It’s not like I have a gaper or whatever.  Like that crazy prolapsed thing Spencer keeps bitching about.  Looks like his ass is puking up a donut, am I right?

Peace out,  bro!