Sexy Grannies For Science!

Science has given us so many great things: Cures for diseases, condoms with numbing gel, space exploration, and vaginal rejuvenation, just to name a few. But don’t let all of that distract you. Science is inherently evil, what with their fun, fact-based knowledge that they use to lure us in to learning.

People have caught on the dastardly ways of science. They know that all that all those functioning brain cells can only hurt us. Slowly, but surely, we’ve been eradicating science and all rational thought from our minds and lives. But science is a crafty little whore, with its big brain and understanding of what get’s modern man’s dicks’ hard. Now science is trying to make us think and learn by luring us in to their indoctrination centers, or “Science Museums,” with the one thing that no mouth-breathing, ignorance-loving, rational-thought denier, could ever resist: Sexually suggestive advertizing featuring Grannies.

The Vancouver Science Museum is trying to get more bodies in to their halls to look at their science stuff and learn “facts” about our world and beyond by rolling out a new advertizing campaign featuring sweet old ladies licking a phallic vanilla ice cream cone. The science-types know how much people like you and me love to watch a couple of Grannies tag team a sugary confection, because we know it can lead to the Grannies casting aside the treat to get down to business on each other. You know, have lesbian geriatric sex with each other.

Listen up, Science! We’re here to tell you that while we do find your ads to be extremely arousing, we are very displeased about the fact that you managed to work an actual fact in to the commercial; thereby, making us learn something. Sure, I mean, yeah. I can totally use the fact “Vanilla is the most erotic scent to older women” when I and my compatriots are out on the town, trolling for elderly snatch. But I take great offence to simply having the knowledge in my head in the first place.

Shame on you, Science! I would never go to the Vancouver Science Museum to “learn” “things.”

Although, I may have to scope it out personally. There may be a convergence of senior citizen poon.