Scientists Make Glow-in-the-dark AIDS Kittens, Just In Time For Halloween!By David Dietle
It’s like they smashed adorable and awesome together in a particle accelerator. And they GLOW. I can’t stress that enough.
No more depressed children because Felix couldn’t get his litterbox-aficionado dick into enough, um… kitty poon? (Kitty bush? There’s a metaphor in there, I can feel it.) and died of FIV (Feline Immuno Deficiency virus), these little pussies are AIDS-proof. Scientists from the Mayo Clinic and, to absolutely no one’s surprise, Japan, announced the other day that they had successfully engineered glowing cats that are immune to the feline version of HIV.
The scientists injected anti-FIV genes along side glowing jellyfish genes (the same ones that make those kick-ass Glo-Fish glow) to track the expression of the infection resistant… Whatever, I am betting you care even less than I do. And the scientists said they won’t be making gene therapies with it or making AIDS-proof babies or anything, but the cats will be used to find out how AIDS kills T cells. Like I said, whatever. But holy crap! Glowing Halloween kitties! I was not able to find any links to where one can buy these, but I am hoping the Mayo Clinic gets them on their web site pronto, because everyone is going to want one. I’m allergic to cats, but I don’t care; I’ll know where the cat has been and not go there, because there will be glowing furballs in its wake. No word on if they poop green glowing turds, but let’s keep our fingers crossed. The only thing cooler than glowing HIV puss would be green glowing monkeys. Oh My God.
Thank God, or rather the people playing him, for this.