Resolved Questions with Luis Prada: Vagina Smell

Today’s question comes to us via Yahoo! Answers user One Q. One Q writes:

Best answer from a Yahoo! Answers User: “Hummm well i like the answer about washing. Tell her girlfriends and tehn they can tell her wow you smell. Or say you hear about this new thing were you get a crazy orgasim after you use a douche. Tell her that you will douche for her. that may work. Its probably more believable.”

I’m glad you asked this, One Q. Sadly, no matter how well I answer this question, no matter how much I think my answer is the definitive one to this age old question, it will still be asked from now until vaginas stop emitting that foul stench as a defense mechanism. And, yes, that’s exactly what it is: a means of protection. Think of a vagina as a skunk. Actually, no. Better yet, think of the entire woman as a skunk. Think of her vagina as that part of the skunk that sprays funk juice. See what I’m getting at, here? It’s not that your woman can’t take care of herself, or that she can’t tell the difference between a bar of soap and a rancid slab of taco meat, or that she’s dying from in the side out – she just doesn’t like you and that’s her body’s way of telling you, in unkind terms, to go fuck yourself. Her body means that in a very literal manner: you should literally go off and pleasure yourself; there’s no way you’re going to put anything inside of that vagina.

This happens because the vagina has nerve endings that directly link the clitoris to the brain stem. I’ve drawn up a picture of what this nerve system looks like.

When the clitoris feels threatened by the visage of an unsuitable sexual partner it reacts by releasing the foul smell you’re talking about. So, I guess what I’m trying to say here is, One Q, you’re girl doesn’t like you. I’m sorry, but in order to deflect the delivery of this bad news off of me, I would suggest you blame science, or chemistry, or, perhaps, this duck.

Let this be a little dose of reality for all men out there reading this today, tomorrow and in the world of the future: if you think your girl’s feelings about you are waning, just pull down her panties and breathe yourself a couple of lungs full of pussy. If it’s neutral, she still likes’ya. If it stinks, get your FireFly boxset back from her and just walk out. You don’t even have to give her a reason as to why you’re leaving — her subconscious and her vagina have said more than words could ever say, and, deep down, she’ll know exactly why you just forcefully smelled her vagina, grimaced, grabbed a TV show DVD boxset, and walked out of her life.

I hope I helped!