Q: How Do You Escape an Argument With a Woman? A: Any Way You Can
By Luis PradaGentlemen, let’s give a round of applause for 18-year-old Christopher Beayon from Maine as he did something yesterday morning that all humans with functioning penises and short tempers when it comes to putting up with a nagging girl have only dreamed of doing.
Yes, gentlemen, Christopher jumped out of a moving car that was traveling at an estimated 30 mph just to get the hell away from the nagging, argumentative girl, Regina Viney, 22, that was driving it.
While traveling down West Main Street in Regina’s a 2007 Chevrolet Avero, Chris — may I call you Chris of master of manly actions? – Chris and Ragina got in to a heated argument. What the topic of discussion was was not specified – but we can venture to guess that it had something to do with “I just feel like you ignore me when we hang out,” or, “If you love me so much, then why do you have so much porn?” After what was presumably minuets of annoying nagging that just wouldn’t fucking end, Chris started to have the thought that all men arguing with a girl in a car have: If I jumped out of this fucker I will either A) get the fuck away from this girl, or B) be dead and I will be away from this girl forever.
Most men never follow through with that action because, deep down inside, we value our lives and we know that we will only end up creating an even larger mess to deal with at a later date. Chris said, “Fuck that noise,” and he became what very well could be the first man in history to follow through on the thought of jumping out of a moving vehicle to escape an arguing woman by actually jumping out of the moving car to escape the arguing woman.
Ragina and Chris were taken to Waldo County General Hospital; Ragina for anxiety and Chris for an unspecified head injury.
Chris, Funny Crave, and, really, all men the world over, wish you a speedy recovery.
We slow clap in your honor.
::Clap::
::Clap::
::Clap, Clap, Clap::
::Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap::
::Uproarious applause::
::Uproarious applause & unified chant of “CHRIS! CHRIS! CHRIS!”::
Friday, October 9, 2009 1:34PM
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Wednesday, October 14, 2009 7:21PM
i know the feeling that chris had when he leaped from the automobile. its the same feeling you get when youre arguing with a girl on the phone and she refuses to see your point of view, no matter what you say or do and it turns out to be so god damn annoying and frustrating you feel like your balls are going to spontaneously combust and you want to rip your clothes off and drown in a fire. only when you're on the phone you end all this by hanging up and chucking your cell so hard up against the bedroom door that the battery pops out. this guy didnt have that option because he was actually there with the hag. so instead of letting his junk catch fire he unlatched his seatbelt, opened the car door and said 'fuck it'. sweet jesus, i bet whatever head trauma he suffered caused a shit ton of pain but at the same time it felt good