Pokemon Pads, for the Bloody Monster in your Pocket

Funny Crave is nothing if not an educational website and sometimes knowledge hurts. Like say you saw your parents having sex while using the toilet, that would still technically be knowledge you’d just acquired; how do the logistics of such a thing work, who knew mom was so limber, looks like dad needs more fiber, but it would also be awful knowledge. With that in mind, we have something to teach you about. It’s called “menstruation” and it may blow your mind.

It seems that woman have secretly been “menstruating” for years now, at least since they got the vote and sources say it may have been underground even before then. Like the origin of the universe, no one really knows how or why “menstruation” started, we just witness the aftermath. Hard working scientists in the “menstruation” department over at MIT can fill in most of the gaps in what occurs. According to them, at some point in time a lady’s crotch just starts gushing blood. But it’s not like they got shot or anything, apparently it’s totally cool. Think of it like those lizards that shoot blood out of their eyes. Basically what we’re saying is that women will try to defend themselves by bleeding on you.

As you can imagine, this “menstruation” can be quite the handful. To deal with this, lady companies manufacture a wide variety of plugs and sponges and such to help stem the red tide. But environmentally aware lady folk may take matters into their own hands and make something called pads. At home. With their sewing machines.

Sure, it sounds wonky, but presumably back before women got the vote and this was all underground they had to do it themselves then too. What they did not have to do was make Pokemon pads. Or Spongebob ones. Or any of the other colorful cartoon characters loved by children that likely never, in any televised episode, have had anyone’s uterine lining sloughed across their faces.