Play Doh Can’t Kill You

Play Doh is a delightful toy that is all kinds of fun.  You can roll it into balls or long snakey turd logs, which is the evolution of everything every kid ever did with it.  Sure, you could technically sculpt anything with Play Doh. Or use those creepy extruders to make things, but within 20 minutes whatever you initially set out to make had become a ball or a snakey turd log.  And it was fun each and every time you did it, even despite that hard to indentify and somewhat off putting odor.

Mmm, salty and sleepy

Play Doh still exists today for new generations of kids of discover and turn into balls and snakey turd logs but now is a different era than the days of yore when Play Doh sat on toy shelves along side other childhood favorites like balsa wood stakes and rusty, tetanus-infused nails.  Toys have to be safer now, you can’t just pick up a “Baby Pees Kerosene” doll at any corner store any more.  The world has changed and parents are more conscious of what is safe and unsafe for kids to play with.  In the 1980’s, 1 in 7 kids died from hula hoop related incidents.  Toys were fucked back in the day.

stay still untilt his dries, then you're dead!

Thankfully, the makers of Play Doh and their safe as shit toy are on the side of parents and are ready to assure them that Play is so fuckin safe, no matter how sociopathic your child is they can’t hurt anyone.  Is your kid making hyper-realistic razor blades and barbiturates out of Play Doh?  It’s cool, no one’s gonna die.  Is you child sharpening their Play Doh meat cleaver and giving praising to their Dark Lord?  Fun!  Crafting matches and looking for your old Baby Pees Kerosene doll?  No worries here, Play Doh is safe no matter what you make.  Thank God!