Parents, Stop Letting Your Kids On FacebookBy Dan Seitz
In the US, and de facto globally, kids under the age of 13 aren’t allowed to give out their private information to websites unless said websites jump through about seventy bazillion very expensive hoops. This is why kids have their own social networking sites, and we don’t have to put up with other people’s brats. But a new survey has come out that shows that as well meaning as the laws are, they can’t trump the utter blithering stupidity of parents.
Basically, parents are helping their kids lie to get on Facebook. We here at FunnyCrave oppose this, not because of morals or ethics or risks to the children, but because we don’t want to deal with your stupid brats, OK?
Look, parents, as a group, you suck. Oh, individually some of you are cool, but as a group, you’re whiny, entitled, and irritating. Human reproduction is not that impressive of an achievement, and it does not give you any special rights or favors. It’s not the rest of humanity’s fault the condom broke. We pay for your schools, so we get the right to be left alone.
It’s bad enough Facebook is open to parents: go to this site and try not to vomit. That’s STFU Parents, literally nothing but obnoxious statuses and disgusting photos parents post. A baby’s ass covered in $#!t is not something I need to see, OK?
And now we have to put up with your kids, too? Because you know they’re going to friend us, because that’s what kids do. And if we tell them “no”, we’re going to get a phone call from you about how we hurt your pwecious snowfwake’s feewings. And then you’re going to start complaining about our posts, because we are adults and do adult things that children have no business knowing about.
You know what? No. We have a right to a space online where we can talk to our friends about beer, hook-ups, and porn without having somebody show up to whine at us. Take your kids off Facebook, unless it’s your hot eighteen-year-old daughter, so the rest of us can be cheerfully crude, obnoxious and vile.