Obama’s Potty Mouth Wee Weed Up America

Apparently the Republicans were on to something with their constant disdain for Barack Obama, the man is a monster.  In a speech given on Thursday, Obama had the audacity to drop this terrifyingly inappropriate line in a speech meant to counter his critics – “There is something about August going into September where everybody in Washington gets all wee weed up!”

Oh, he said it alright.  Wee weed up.  In political terms, this has replaced “cunt” as pretty much the most offensive thing you can say, and that includes clever word combinations like “motherfucking cunt” or “ass rimming cunt stain” or “cum slurping cunt faced Canadian faggot.”  Shit, Obama, who writes your speeches?

Today, the term “wee weed up” is all over the internet for kids and the elderly to innocently stumble across.  Normally we wouldn’t use that term at FunnyCrave, we’d stick to cunt, but we’re going to try to sanitize the internet and Obama today as a public service.  So without further ado, here are some suggestions for what Obama could have said that you can read instead next time his foul mouth gets the better of him;

There is something about August going into September where everybody in Washington gets wasted and skull fucks a Kennedy.

There is something about August going into September where everybody in Washington goes to Bill Clinton’s house and tries to buy discount pussy cigars.

There is something about August going into September where everybody in Washington has to massage Dick Cheney’s balls so he won’t shoot them “by accident.”

There is something about August going into September where everybody in Washington watches and rewatches Top Gun starring Tom Cruise.  You know, Tom Cruise?  I hear he’s never had a mouthful of dicks.

There is something about August going into September where everybody in Washington invests heavily in the dildo market. The White House is just swimming in rubber dongs right now.

There is something about August going into September where everybody in Washington is just really into bestiality.  Like, I mean, really into it.

There is something about August going into September where everybody in Washington is a cunt.