New Zealand has Thermo-Nuclear Pie Technology!

It appears that New Zealand is had it up to here with this Lord of the Rings bullshit. They want to let the world know that there’s more to their country then just Hobbits and Wizards, mostly because there’s no such thing as hobbits and wizards, and once you tell people that little fact they’re at a loss to tell you anything else about New Zealand. In an effort to shed this Tolkien-inspired stigma, Zealand has been clandestinely developing Thermo-Nuclear pie technology, which they feel will further legitimize their government in the eyes of the global community.

But one cop, and one cop alone, is waging a war against thermo-nuclear pies. His name is…well, we really don’t know what is name is. But his squad car looks a lot like the one Mel Gibson drove in Mad Max, so we’ll just call this guy Madder Max.

Madder Max stopped a roughian, and potential Thermo-Nuclear pie purchaser, at 3 am on the desolate streets of New Zealand. Max’s entire family was killed by Thermo-Nuclear pies, so he has reason to be so adamant about his disdain toward these pastries of mass destruction. He’s just a badass cop looking to make the world a better place. He’s just trying to make some safer communities…together.

So far, Madder Max’s pleas to rid the world of pies that have been sitting in warmers for over 12 hours have fallen upon deaf ears. The New Zealand parliament…or congress…or its chieftain…or whatever New Zealand has as a government, has decided to move forward with this pie enrichment program and makes no attempt at disguising their Thermo-Nuclear pie facilities – most of which double as BP gas stations.