Nativity Scenes Just Got Awesome

For so long, people have detested the over-abundance of politically correctness that has taken root in the United States. For example, no longer is it socially acceptable to call a woman a “Dame.” We’ve evolved. We call them “Bitches” now. The more seasonal example of this that gets people riled up is the so-called “War on Christmas.” With the public finally realizing that there is more than one religion in America, and more than one type of December celebration, people (especially in politics) are moving away from the Christian idea of the holidays to a more culturally diverse pan-religion, pan-belief celebration.

Normally, this turns in to an epic, embarrassing disaster. Until one man figured it out.

Believe it or not, there is actually a place called Kokomo, like in the Beach Boys song. Good luck trying to relax by a beach there, though. It’s in goddamn Indiana. Although, it is the place where you’ll want to go to get away from it all…because there’s nothing there.

Anyway, here’s what went down: Dave Trine, president of the Howard County Board of Commissioners in Kokomo, received a lot of letters from vocal townsfolk about the need for a nativity scene in downtown Kokomo. Listening to his lawyers, who in turn were taking a cue from civil liberties groups, Dave opted to forgo the usual baby Jesus being looked upon by Mary and the three wise men, and went for a lawn decoration that everyone of every religion could agree on…

A T- Rex, the loch Ness Monster, a fisherman, marching soldiers, and a big-ass fire truck.

Ladies and Gentlemen, you have just read the future of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, and whatever else may be out there. In 50 years time, children won’t even know who Santa was, and they won’t know what a menorah is, because they’ll be too busy setting out their plates of raw meat and M4 rounds as treats for when the Marines point their guns at the T-Rex and Nessy who are barreling down your street baring gifts as a Long John Silver holds out bait that entices the creatures, all while he rides atop a wailing fire truck.

Future holiday movies will be amazing.