NASA Debunks the movie 2012 – Science Suffers Humiliation
Nov 12, 2009 - By Ian Fortey
NASA, actual, goddamn NASA, had to take the time out of their day of not being retarded to answer the concerns posed by the movie 2012. The concerns held by idiots who are also thankful each and every day a robotic Schwarzenegger doesn’t kick their door in and Terminate them. Idiots who pray Bruce Willis isn’t too old to save us by the time that meteor hits. Idiots who wonder why Matthew Broderick could only snag Sarah Jessica Parker if he managed to save new York from Godzilla, but at the same time they can’t account for why Godzilla looks so much different every time he attacks Japan. And for that matter, how do they keep rebuilding Tokyo so fast?
In fairness, it’s not just the movie 2012 that has idiots scared. There are an abundance of idiot websites that also claim 2012 spells doom for mankind, because once you hook and idiot, every other fisherman in the sea casts out the same bait. Idiots are easy to fool, you see.
Many idiots that have been studied in captivity believe the ancient Mayans predicted the end of the earth and that it will be in 2012, and in idiot terms the older something is the more important it is. Because why wouldn’t a pre-Industrial civilization that used to sacrifice people to serpent and jaguar gods have knowledge of the future?
Science, which we know to be not super old and therefore untrustworthy to the idiot, tells us nothing is going to happen in 2012. There will be no meteor, we would have seen it coming years ago. There’s not going to be massive climate change, that kind of thing takes ages and has a definite pattern one can trace. And there’s no known event in the history of ever, short of the Big Bang one can assume, that can cause such a commotion as to render the earth a giant ball of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. That sort of thing just doesn’t happen for no reason.
In point of fact, the Mayan calendar does end on December 12, 2012. Much the same as every calendar ends because calendar manufacturers have yet to perfect the calendar with infinite pages as infinity is hard to bind with staples or with glue. So instead they opt to replace old calendars with new ones, much the way the Mayan calendar works. Unfortunately, when a handful of lab idiots were presented with this, even after extensive testing, most could not understand the concept.
Some idiots fear a planetary alignment in 2012 that will have catastrophic results. These are the same idiots that use horoscopes to plan their day, as planetary alignments occur constantly and have never affected anything on earth because, you know, they don’t. If you hit a real sweet spot in the universe, the tide might come in an extra inch.
NASA also takes the time to assure us that, if the poles of the earth were to shift, probably we’d all be annoyed by our compasses pointing in the other direction and little else as the polarity of the Earth doesn’t do anything to life on Earth. Maybe bird migration would go wonky. The rotation of the earth, however, does not change at any time and the poles aren’t likely to reverse for a few thousand years so no need to scratch the N off your compass and replace it with an S just yet anyway.
In closing, people who are not idiots assure us all that 2012 will be the same as every other time period that someone has predicted as the end of the world. It’s been predicted hundreds of times in the past and, as you’ll notice, hasn’t managed to take just yet. The world is not going to end.
Monday, November 23, 2009 6:09PM
You had me at "…actual, goddamn NASA had to take time out of their day of not being retarded…"
Monday, November 23, 2009 9:48PM
Well this is dissapointing! I mean everybody loves the sence of impending doom, it almost makes people feel gratefull for beeing alive. Don`t kill the dream!!!
Monday, November 23, 2009 11:58PM
The Mayan's didn't predict the end of the world, they predicted the turning tide of humanity. The end of the Mayan calendar represents the end of the age of one god, Tezcatlipoca, and the passing of the torch to Quetzalcoatl.
Quetzalcoatl, or the plumed serpent god, is a symbol of the unity between earthly things (serpents slither on land) and heavenly things (hence the feathers). His second coming was predicted to be a transcendence to another state of human thought or belief – a unity between heavens and the earth.
Although there is no genuine evidence to say such an event will take place, it is roughly the estimated time period of a 26,000 year alignment between the December solstice sun and the Galactic equator.
The movie is just hollywood bullshit. Mayan's on the other hand, are much more interesting.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009 5:02AM
in 2029 an asteroid named apophis will come very close to hitting the earth. in fact there was a scare in 2004 that it might actually hit us in 2029 but later caulculations have shown that it is just going to come very close. but the new scare is that apophis could pass through a gravitational keyhole when it passes earth and this would set its path, next time it came around in 2036, so that it hit earth. this would not be a all life destroying event but it will most likely hit the sea and cause massive tidal waves and of course many deaths.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009 7:06PM
Actually, the Mayan calendar doesn't end, it just starts over. Kind of how Mike stated. It's cyclical. Dec 21, 2012, is the end of the calendar, but Dec 22, 2012 is the starting over of the calendar. The Mayans believe the word will end sometime way in the future; its basically a 41 with 28 zeros after it, so we don't have to worry about that.
Friday, November 27, 2009 8:46AM
The Mayans predicted the world would end on Dec 22, 2012 because they ran out of space on the rock they were carving the calender onto and had to stop. I thought everyone knew that
Saturday, November 28, 2009 2:45PM
Trying to convince idiots of anything is a pointless and impossible task. What's far more scary is they these same idiots are permitted to vote. That accounts for George W. Bush, Sarah palin, the WWE, Nascar, and religion. See? It's all very simple.
Albert Einstein explained it years ago. "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and human stupidity."
Monday, April 12, 2010 4:57PM
man 2012 isnt supposed to be the end its supposed to be the beginning of the end, the clocks have been set in motion by the bilderburg bastards and as we speak the entire world is being set up to be unified so that the elite has the power. FUCK THE IDIOTS WHO BELIEVE WERE ALL DEAD they give the rest of us skeptics bad names.
Saturday, July 24, 2010 2:22AM
A gamma ray burst is about the only thing guaranteed to wipe out the human race. But since it would be almost instantaneous and it travels at the speed of light (no warning), it wouldn't make a very good movie plot.