Miley Cyrus’ Cleavage Meets the Queen
By Ian Fortey
You know what makes just short of no sense? The title of this post. Sure, all the words fit together to make a sentence you can theoretically understand, but isn’t it all just too bizarre to fully understand. Why the hell was Miley Cyrus meeting the Queen? The actual Queen of England.
For starters, all the Queen does these days is wear hats and meet celebrities. That’s her bag, pretty much. Last time she had any power over anything, people were still being beheaded. Arguably, if she ordered the UK to go to war again Latvia, British Parliament would actually, seriously have to sit down and hammer out a legal way to get out of that decree, but they could do it. Fun side note, Canada might be bound in some way to join that fight, but that’s neither here nor there.
Anyway, so the Queen is super old and has an embarrassing family, so she can probably relate to Cyrus in some way. Without researching further, let’s just assume Miley is on tour in the UK and stopped by to meet Queeny for a spell. Oh, and she brought the gun show.
Seems some panties are in a knot that Miley, aside from still being 17, opted to wear some manner of boobie gown to meet the Queen and Lord knows the Queen has not approved of boobs in ages. The monarchy has been anti-boob since the days of Henry VIII. So Miley walks in tits a-poppin and here she is in the news, again. Being slammed, again.
Funnycrave is taking a stand here and we’re standing behind Miley on this one for two separate yet equally strong reasons. First, it’s getting hard to make fun of Miley Cyrus in unique and interesting ways. It really is. We’ve got about 6 pieces on nothing but Cyrus, not including this one. We’re running out of material.
Our second reason is that it’s high time British people accepted American, Southern, underaged cleavage as a part of our culture. This is what the Revolutionary War was about and don’t think for a second it had anything to do with anything out. Have you ever read the Declaration of Independence? Like 10 lines in, John Adams wrote “now let’s see some tits!” and then George Washington actually wrote the words “high five” under it. And, being the day and age, brides were often taken when they were 14 or so, so 17 year old country pop singers were totally in line with what the founding fathers had in mind.
Listen up, world. Miley Cyrus is America. Trashing her is the same as trashing the flag and if you do it 5 times in front of a mirror, Ben Franklin will show up in your shower and beat your ass down.
Also, for what it’s worth, this is what Lady Gaga looked like when she met the Queen.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009 10:32PM
Boobies!!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009 4:42PM
um…no. trashing miley cyrus is trashing miley cyrus. the fact that you're even comparing her to one of our country's most renowned symbols is disgusting. she is no where near the same level just because she makes disney a lot of money. and even though the queen doesn't have much power these days, she's still the decendent of a very powerful, highly respected family and miley should have acknowleged that. it's very inappropriate not just for the situation but for her age as well. girls back in the 1700s kept it covered despite being married young which has absolutely nothing to do with this story so i have no idea why whoever wrote this brought it up. miley is quickly becoming the next britney spears and her family is letting it happen despite them claiming to be "christian". this is very disappointing and embarassing for the U.S., at least lady gaga was respectful and kept everything covered, her outfit was far better than miley's
Thursday, December 10, 2009 8:25PM
Is it just me, or is the lady next to Miley really oddly shapen? I can't put my finger on it, but it's there, and it's unsettling.
Saturday, December 12, 2009 12:51AM
omg shes wearing a freaking dress, thats sooo inapropriate, she should wear a burka at the very least. anyways, ending sarcasm, here in america, we believe in freedom of expression, no really, its in the constitution, which was made in the late 1700s, im 4reals. anyways being respectful does not mean hiding your breasts, thats quite chauvinistic. Secondly she's 17, go to a school and find a girl who doesn't dress provocatively, well at least the hot ones do. Thirdly, i would like to remind you that the queen holds no presidence to the general world, except having the position of societal virtue, so the paucity of respect can only be interpreted as a meeting of equals
Saturday, December 12, 2009 4:12AM
oh you're right. its like she has man arms and triangular boobs. she is a little oddly shapen. poor lady.
Sunday, December 20, 2009 8:07PM
We all know that Lady Gaga is known for her very different outfits and i thought she would wear something ridiculous but compared to miley she was normal
Thursday, February 11, 2010 7:50PM
like wow–her braless breasts are about to fall out—-if mils bent forward her girls would fall out and her nips could say to the queen—-love to put my hands inside her flimsy top and grab those bare soft boobies of Mils—-bet her nips are erect——love to run my hands inside her dress up & down her sweaty bare chest, stomach and breasts to her nips and get them erect get mils hot and all sexually aroused.