Michelle Obama Wears Shorts; America Shits
By Ian Fortey
Mark this day on your calendars kids, it’s the day the media ran out of absolutely anything to say and had to resort to covering Michelle Obama’s ass coverage in no less than 100 separate media sources according to Google news. To clarify, Michelle Obama does not traffic in cocaine. Michelle Obama did not steal anyone’s picnic basket. Michele Obama did not shoot Gary Busey in the face and then skull fuck the wound. Michelle Obama wore shorts.
The atrocity apparently occurred in and around Air Force One as well as at the Grand Canyon, an area of the US with a strict “No Shorts on Michelle Obama” policy that the First Lady just shat all over. It’s in the Constitution if my recollection of the Constitution is correct (maybe on the back somewhere) and apparently she elected to take the constitution, wad it up ever so slightly whilst being careful to avoid the sharp edges, bent slightly at the waist, used her free hand to pry her ass open a touch, then jammed the Constitution in her crack and scoured her asshole free of debris. With the Constitution.
The Huffington Post elected to have a poll to find out if readers were shocked to the point of vomiting by Obama wearing shorts, because apparently First Ladies don’t do that. They wear cotton dresses and churn butter. Or stay in the White House and make fudge for Congress.
Whatever the public’s opinion of the First Lady wearing shorts, it’s clear their opinion should be it’s awful. But they shouldn’t waste much time feeling that way, because the end is nigh if this kind of shit is going on. Worse, apparently Michelle’s Mom is all over the voodoo in the White House, according to extremely reliable news sources. Likely it’s only a matter of time before Joe Biden is sacrificed and Baron Samedi becomes VP and everyone is forced to eat little skulls made of sugar every fucking day of the year while constantly fighting off Creole demons. So thank you, Michelle Obama’s shorts, for destroying us all.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009 12:14PM
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009 12:19PM
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009 5:41PM
Holy dark thighs of thunder, Batman!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009 1:54PM
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Wednesday, August 19, 2009 8:57AM
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Wednesday, August 19, 2009 9:21AM
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Wednesday, August 19, 2009 11:35AM
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Wednesday, August 19, 2009 11:43AM
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Wednesday, August 19, 2009 11:52AM
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