Michael Jordan Loves Dragons

For a while there, Michael Jordan was the best human being ever.  He dominated sports the way hobos dominate homelessness.  If you challenged Jordan to anything, you had already lost, and not just basketball.  Lacrosse, Foosball, cooking, needlepoint, masturbating, Jordan would destroy you in seconds.  Seconds!  But he always seems like he’d be a good sport about it, too.

Now that Jordan has more time on his hands, it seems that he’s devoted his mind to more esoteric pursuits.  Like pondering the existence of dragons.  As you can see, he recently asked on Twitter if anyone out there thinks dragons existed a long, long time ago.  But is that all Michael Jordan wonders?  Is he dragon obsessed?  Of course not!  Michael Jordan is a Renaissance man and his interests are varied.  Here are some other thoughts that we assume would have popped up on his Twitter account if we took to the time read it and/or he took the time to think these things;

• Why was Sugar Ray called Sugar Ray?  Like, the guy or the band?  Because really, sugar’s not even that good for you.
• What if you had a backwards hand?
• If our knees bent the other way, what would toilets look like?
• You play golf with a golf ball, so shouldn’t basketball just be called basket?
• I hope that Criss Angel never uses his wizard powers for evil.  The government should regulate people like that.
• Isn’t it weird that Bugs Bunny has never returned my calls since Space Jam?
• Is there really even a secret to Caramilk?  Don’t they just inject caramel into the chocolate and then patch the hole really fast?
• Wouldn’t it be awesome if every day was Christmas?
• Why do they call it mail?  Why not femail?  Or even Equals?
• What if you could be a lady for a day?  I’d use a bidet.
• What stops clouds from falling on us?
• Is it just me, or was Scotty Pippin a goblin?
• For a fun trick, if you have your own brand of shoes, go outside and find someone wearing the shoes with your name on them, and then ask for the shoes back, stating that they’re clearly yours, because your name is on them.  That might only work for me.
• Is it ever OK to not wipe fully?
• Have you ever looked at a dog?  I mean really looked?  It’s like…a dog!  Just crazy.
• If you stab a man in the dead of winter, steam rises from the wound
• My pizza fell on the floor, but I ate it anyway because I got it in 5 seconds, but my buddy says it’s a 3 second rule?  Are there any physicists out there who can confirm?