Michael’s New York Drops Names – Any Names

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The other day FunnyCrave staff we’re hanging out with John Byner, Martha Plimpton and the corpse of Yul Brynner, and we were discussing how lame it is when people drop names to make themselves seem important.  Because nothing is more sad than trying to build yourself up through nothing more than your tentative link, even if it’s only by virtue of geographical placement, to someone considered famous.  David Lander sent us a text message saying he agreed.

It’s with some dismay then that we came across the Twitter account of Michael’s New York (and by came across I mean we read this story on buzzfeed and then did this article.  Thank God Yul Brynner’s corpse was free), a restaurant in New York that seems to be convinced of its own importance and is interested in sharing it with the world.  The very concept made Peter DeLuise sick.

Stalking your own customers online is a novel if somewhat creepy way to approach a business, but Michael’s takes this to a whole new level by giving constant updates of who’s “in the house.”  They actually preface the name of each celebrity with “in the house.”  Apparently on purpose.  David Leisure thought that made it even more lame.

At this point in the article, Michael Dudikoff would like to point out that we should have put “celebrity” in quotation marks in the above paragraph.

See, even if this behavior were not super low class, desperately pathetic and a little creepy, in the celebrity obsessed culture of today, you should at least drop recognizable names.  Michaels’s gives updates when Barbara Lee Diamonstein and Francie Lefrak come in.  If you’re wondering who the fuck they are, join the club.  Yakov Smirnoff and Fiona Apple had no idea when we asked them.