Megan Fox High School Photos Reveal All!
By Ian Fortey
Does that title make you think something is afoot? It should, because I’m totally implying something is afoot. Something about Megan Fox. Like maybe newly found yearbook photos of her from back in the day indicate her eerie foot-thumb isn’t the only bizarre thing about her, like maybe she had a goat head back in 2002 or something like that. Like maybe her dad actually is some kind of mountain goat and she’s just the freakish Appalachian offspring of nature gone wrong. Is that what I’m implying?
Holy shit, she had hair and stuff!
I’m leaving the implications open because really, there’s nothing here. Old photos of Megan Fox are now running rampant on the internet, yearbook photos and lord knows the kids love yearbook photos of celebrities. But the thing is, it’s only mildly interesting when you see images of Dustin Hoffman or Robert DeNiro or anyone who didn’t get famous right out of fucking highschool.
As the earth shattering photos reveal, back in highschool, Megan Fox looked just like Megan Fox. Holy balls! Our entire editorial team actually shit at the very same moment, marking the 3rd official FunnyCrave Synchronized Shock Shit since we started back in August, and that’s pretty impressive. So impressive it inspired us to dig a little deeper into the past of Megan Fox to see what other stunning revelations were waiting for us. Please disrobe now and lather up, because here comes journalism;
- Once, in highschool, Megan brought her lunch to school. IN A BAG!
- Rumor has it, Megan Fox defecates. Feces
- When she was 16, Megan Fox went out for tacos. Mexican tacos
- Megan Fox had a drawer in her home full of nothing but socks
- If you rearrange the letters in “Megan Fox” you can spell “Max F Gone”
- Megan Fox was not hatched
- Megan Fox has an appliance in her home used exclusively to keep food cold. Colder than if it was in a wet sack in the basement!
- At night, Megan Fox often sleeps
- Megan Fox’s gross thumbs are opposable
- Megan does not have a detachable penis
- If you listen to Megan’s lines from Transformers backwards, it sounds like gibberish!
- Megan Fox is not a terrorist
- Megan Fox cannot lift a car straight over her head. Probably not even half a car
- Megan Fox receives nourishment by placing biomatter directly into a hole in her head and consuming it
- Megan Fox was once seen in water. Splashing about like some sort of manatee
- Megan Fox loves FunnyCrave
