Matrix-Style Brain Downloads Of Knowledge Are Almost A Real ThingBy David Dietle
Scientists have finally started working on some cool advances in brain-magic. Sure, I have recently written about robots that control your limbs and DARPA’s new mind control helmets, but this is… okay, more of the same, kind of. This one, however, is about learning things with the same effort as installing Google Chrome. Some have drawn a parallel between this and some movie that people apparently saw, but allow me to be somewhat original.
Imagine you have a world where, let’s say, machines have driven mankind underground, and they are using a bunch of them as batteries. Got it? Okay. Now, let’s say that occasionally the people in suspended animation as batteries wake up, and are plugged back in to this “Matrix”, where they can now act like super-heroes. Once inside, they can just upload lessons into their brains. This is what I am talking about: Scientists have apparently developed a new technology that allows them to implant lessons into people’s brains, so they can learn, for instance, kung-fu, just by installing it.
Someone should make a movie like that. I suggest calling it “Kung-fu: Installing the legend, For Dummies.” Maybe starring Samuel L. Jackson and a block of wood.
The best part is that the scientists have found that they can implant these lessons without the “student” even knowing it is happening. Think about that — you could teach people without them even being aware of it. Sure, it’s scary to think that crazy anti-abortionists could use it to make people blow up hospitals, or our free will could be flushed down the toilet by bible thumping sociopaths from the midwest.
On the other hand, if we’re abusing technology here, there is significantly less harm in, say, convincing my wife to get rid of every shirt that isn’t a V-neck and every bra that isn’t a push-up. I’m not condoning it, I’m simply suggesting that if it’s going to be used improperly, it should be used improperly properly. There are idealists, however, that suggest this could be useful in helping people relearn how to use damaged limbs, or possibly even help people with learning disabilities learn at an accelerated pace.
Maybe it can teach people to see unicorns, too. Come on folks, the internet can teach classrooms about Egypt and allow scholars quickly disseminate information to their peers, but most of it is dedicated to Call of Duty and women being used as pincushions and semen sponges; there’s money in this folks, is what I’m getting at.
And if anyone is interested in my sci-fi movie idea, I suggest hiring the guys who did Speedracer. They did a movie about the mafia and lesbians, which I think it could use.