Madonna Collpases on Stage, May Have to Stop Being Skanky

Decrepit singer Madonna continues to tour and sing and act out obscenities with much younger men on stage only now, shit’s getting real.  According to The Sun, Britain’s most reliable trashy newspaper, Madonna, or Ma’am as she likes to be called these days, may have broken a hip or suffered some kind of osteoarthritis attack on stage during a recent show.  Just look at the video and try not to call your grandma to see if she’s doing OK.

Admittedly, that collapse looks exactly like a choreographed part of the dance that not only coincides with the movement of the other dancers but the music as well, but if that were the case then it would call the journalistic (and observational) skills of the hardworking staff over at the Sun into question.  More importantly, it’s not as funny to think that it was just part of the act and not a result of Madonna being so bloody old but refusing to acknowledge it.

The Sun goes on to tell us old lady Ciccone collapsed not once but twice, and is even anemic.  Hopefully someone has sent a care package of spinach.

In the meantime, rest assured her dusty clam is still getting more than its fair share of baseball players and guys named Jesus, which is only vaguely creepy.