Resolved Questions With Luis Prada: Dick Mist

“Resolved Questions” is the new title of the article formally known as “Luis Answers Questions from Yahoo! Answers.” Booyah indeed.

Today’s question comes to us via Yahoo! Answers user Cody. Cody writes:

Best Answer From a Yahoo! Answers User: “I suppose you could work part time as a fire extinguisher.”

This is one of those questions that I have a hard time answering due to its vagueness. I feel I need to know more about this guy and his dick mist before I give my expert opinion on the matter. But, sadly, I may never get some more description, so I’ll just have to assume I know what he’s talking about.

Cody, if I understand this correctly, every time you urinate, instead of a strong, steady stream of waste cascading down from your fleshy tube, you are actually producing a thick, fog-like smoke. If this is correct, then I would probably say your diet it your problem. Now, I don’t know you, Cody; so I don’t want to jump to any conclusions about your lifestyle, but the facts are the facts and all the facts all point to you ingesting quite a bit more than your recommended daily dose of dry ice and fire extinguishers.

Outside of that, I don’t really know how else to help you out, Cody. I mean, your rolling dick fog could be a symptom of an STD only found in the tribesmen of Paupa, New Guinea. You’ve got the dick mist, but you don’t have dick lightening or testicular thunder clapping. But, just in case you read this, and just in case you’ve traveled to Paupa, New Guinea in the past year, let me ask: did you, uh, involve yourself, you know, romantically with any of Paupa, New Guinea’s famous fanged frogs or giant rats? Again, I’m not passing judgment on your lifestyle choices. Whatever makes you happy, stick with it. Just be safe, that’s all I’m saying.

One thing I would recommend, though, is to stop urinating in small, enclosed spaces. Actually, stop peeing indoors. From now until your dick mist just goes away on its own, I suggest you take a piss in your back yard. Or front. Or in the line while you’re waiting at the ATM. Reason being, if you urinate as the beams of the hot and mighty sun shine brightly on your urine, it may convert the mist in to a solid stream again…which would be an absolutely incredible sight to behold. Seriously. You should film that shit. Your dick sprays this weird yellow-tinted mist like a smoke bomb, I assume; then, the sun rays catch it, heat it back in to a liquid state, then it all just falls at the same time like you tossed it out of a bucket. That would be amazing.

But if you’re bashful about peeing in public and in broad daylight, then I would suggest you drink 3 gallons of water a day and get a job as a smoke machine at night clubs or at Rob Zombie concerts.

Hope I helped!