Jamie Foxx Was Possessed by Cher and a Robot at the Grammys [video]

If you watched the Grammys last night, we’re sorry.  Were you being punished?  Perhaps tied to a chair while the show was played out before you?  Because really, you don’t need to watch awards shows and you particularly don’t need to watch the Grammys.  That show has never, ever been good.

Still, every year the media has to do something about the Grammys because what else happens on a Sunday night?  So everyone’s clothes have been dissected by vacuous suckbags, and acceptance speeches analyzed by people with too much time on their hands.  But not FunnyCrave.  We’re going for hard hitting journalism today and blowing the biggest event of the Grammy show wide open – Jamie Foxx is a goddamn robot.

As the video clearly demonstrates, Jamie Foxx was likely manufactured in the same auto tune facility that retro-fitted Cher a few years back.  If you can’t view the video and have a listen for yourself, here’s a section of the performance we’ve transcribed for your enjoyment, starting at the 0:50 mark:

DDDDddddOOOOOooooOOOOOoooo**bzzzztvoidacclimationreturnto

chorusdevourhumanstoturnfleshintoviableenergysource

OOOOOooooooooOOOOOooooIfyoubelieeeeeeveinlifeafterlove!!**

That’s exactly what Jamie Foxx does for nearly 5 full minutes.  Except part way through T-Pain joins in.  Pay special attention to their dance moves around 3:30.  It seems like they too may realize how preposterous this is.

Jamie Foxx seems like a good guy.  He’s Ray Charles, after all.  And he used to do mildly offputting transvestite comedy on In Living Color.  And then awful comedy on the Jamie Foxx show.  But maybe that was the network’s fault.  He can be really funny, I’ve seen it before.  So maybe somewhere inside, he knew this was all kind of hilarious too.  Maybe he only just seems really earnest and serious about his music when in fact he sits backstage before the Grammys and thinks “Oh shit, I’m gonna autotune this whole fucking song and T-Pain and Slash are gonna be there!  HA HA HA!” because honestly, that would have been hilarious.  But please, someone find me video to confirm that.

Also, if you’re not totally familiar with Guns n Roses, it’s worth noting that at the end of the performance, that’s Slash who comes out and starts laying down some November Rain.  November Rain.  Do you know what happens when more autotune than Miley Cyrus could shake a stick at and Axl Rose’s epic pap smear of a song come together?  Yes, you do.  You just watched it.