Is Pam Anderson’s Commercial Too Sexy? [video]

We all know Pam Anderson is hot in a very artificial, hepatitisy sort of way.  Her boobs look like molded plastic at this point and her face is a hair’s breadth away from being a porn star Dorian Grey sort of a situation, but that’s cool.  Probably most of us would still bone her (if not for that hepatitis thing.  That’s kind of messed up.)

Anyway, aside from some disappointing fashion shows and drug store product launches in recent history, she’s apparently working Down Under on commercials.  Down Under being Australia, and not the source of her hepatitis.  Not in this instance, anyway.  Although it’s possible she did get it in Australia, I’m not her biographer or anything.

So this new commercial for a domain name company stole their shtick from GoDaddy.com, apparently setting the trend for domain names and sluttery to go hand in hand.  This pretty much proves the theory that you can use sex to sell anything because if you can make a domain name sexy, you may as well use erect nipples to start selling adult diapers and hepatitis medication (I have the perfect spokesperson!).

Anyway, word on the internet is that this commercial was banned for being too damn sexy, and you know what that means – it was never banned.  Or maybe it was, but probably not.  The internet is bogged down with a veritable cornucopia of “banned” commercials that were never banned, so that people who sit in parked pick up trucks just to listen to the radio can see them and feel like they’re privy to something secret and amazing because it was “banned.”

In reality, very few commercials are ever banned and if they are, it was bullshit.  Bullshit because ad agencies don’t accidentally include giant fake tits or sodomy or old ladies fisting midgets by accident.  They do it with every intention of it never actually being released on television and then pretend there’s a controversy to convince you to watch something you’d never give a shit about otherwise.

Think about it – this is a video with Pam Anderson covered in cream (which is now infected with hepatitis, incidentally), rubbing on some random Aussie chick.  You could watch that or you could just watch her naked and having sex like the rest of the world has about 1000 times over already, if you’re that interested.  Plus back then she still looked human, instead of like a flesh-golem.  I don’t know about you, but flesh-golem’s only get me to half staff at the best of times.