Inspirational Thanksgiving Quotes from Funnycrave

Thanksgiving is touted as a time to reflect on your world and your life and take stock of all of the things you’re thankful for, like how that rampant slaughter of Native Americans didn’t go the other way.  How screwed would we be right now if that happened?!?!?

But finding something to be thankful for is much harder for some than it is for others.  Sometimes, people need a few words of inspiration to make them sit back and think “yeah, I guess I do have something to be thankful for.”  For those of you out there looking for a reason to be thankful, here are some helpful quotes, from your friend, Funnycrave.

“This holiday season finds many Americans unemployed.  Better them than you.”

“On Thanksgiving day, thousands of fire fighters and police officers will sacrifice spending time with their families just so they can go out and keep us safe.  If you know one of these brave men, this would be a great time to try and sleep with their wife.”

“People with red hair just look silly.”

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.  But pussies like you can always shoot heroin instead.”

“Being alone on Thanksgiving is only sad if your family isn’t a bunch of assholes.  But they are, so you’re golden.”

“Hey, at least you aren’t a turkey, you heartless son of a bitch!”

“Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.”

“On the bright side, that creepy high school friend of yours did send you a green bean casserole using the ‘Thanksgiving Dinner’ application on Facebook!”

“Hey, at least you aren’t Native American, you heartless son of a bitch!”