I’m Feeling Lucky: Hoboner

The “I’m Feeling Lucky” button on Google is pretty much useless at the best of times.  Outside the realm of internet comedy articles, what on earth does anyone use this thing for?  That said, I used it for this internet comedy article.  And my search was, of course, for the word “hoboner.”

I don’t know what you consider to be a hoboner, as far as I know I made it up, but it has always and will continue to refer to the state of arousal achieved by the homeless.  You should always avoid a hoboner.  Dudes carting around hoboners are often crazy as shit house rats because what the fuck could get you aroused if you live in a dumpster but still have a sound mind?

Anyway, when you feel lucky on Google about a hoboner, you stumble upon OverheardinNewYork.com.  My old university used to have a similar website – the gist is you hear something hilarious (in or out of context) and post it.  Sounds a lot more lame when I spell it out like that.  But anyway, what in or out of context hilarity can one glean from hoboner?  This magic:

Hobo: Yo, boy! Can I ask you something for a minute?
Teenage boy, walking quickly: I’m sorry, I’m in a rush.
Hobo: Bitch, it’s not like I wanna fuck you or anything!

Curiously, when you do an image search for hoboner, this is the first thing you find;

I am almost positive that is Shang Tsung from the Mortal Kombat movie.  And I’ll admit, I haven’t seen that film in years and my memories are tarnished by the godforsaken memories of Christopher Lambert pretending to be a fucking Chinese Thunder god of all things, but I think I might remember some reference to hoboner in the movie.  In fact, I’m positive I would, because it would have obviously been the best part of the whole movie next to that scene wherein Sonya kills that guy with her thighs.

With any luck, you just learned something valuable and deep about hoboner.  Or not.  Except not not, meaning yes.  I think it’s clear we all win in the end, though.