How to Sell Diapers in Korea

So this ad apparently parodies some David Beckham ads.  Unfortunately anything related to soccer is blocked in North America so we don’t know what ads they’re speaking of.  In fairness, who the hell is David Beckham?  No clue.  But we do know this ad is gangbusters.  But what message are they trying to get across (given that we don’t know or understand soccer here because, you know, it’s ridiculous.  Hey, one goal in 3 hours?  Awesome, I get it now!).

So yeah, just what are they trying to say?

• Goodnites:  For babies and gigolos.  Who are also babies.
• This baby will beat you with a rope if you don’t buy these diapers.   Remember the end of Casino Royale?  Yeah, like that.
• This baby thinks you’re too queer to buy these diapers.  Go away, queer.
• Hey you.  You want to buy some diapers?  Pfft.  Fuck off.
• I did your wife.  And I’m a baby.  What kind of man are you?
• This club is lame and so are you.
• Rope.  Diapers.  Moisture.  Fuck yeah.
• Sod off, Gwilo.  I’m lounging.
• Hey baby.  I’m a bell ringer.  Yeah, I own this bell.
• Wanna climb my rope?  Diapers?  Huh?
• God.  So hot in this empty rope room.  Had to strip down to my gitch.
• You wish you could look this cool while peeing yourself.
• You wish you could look this cool while shitting yourself.
• Get out of here before I get my cat and go all The Grudge on your ass.
• I did so much blow last night I don’t even know where my pants are.
• Come home with me and we’ll both gave a Goodnite.  Zing!
• GoodNites:  Turning babies into douche bags all around the world.
• I play strip tug-o-war with the ceiling and I always lose.
• Man, I’m so relaxed right now.  I could…yep…right there.  Taco shit.
• Your wife put these diapers on me.  Yeah, she saw me naked.  On purpose.
• Yeah, going to the gym later.  Blast my quads for an hour.  I’m huge.
• You must have taken a wrong turn, buddy.  Cuz, uh…you don’t belong here.
• When I get down from this rope, you and all your shit better be gone.
• Is your kid still wearing Pampers?  No, it’s cool.  Someone needs to raise retards.