How Surveys Get Skewed
By Ian Fortey
They say you can make numbers prove just about anything if you play with them enough, but like children and pets, numbers are tiresome to play with and often carry disease, so most of us tend to avoid it. But some people go ahead and conduct surveys in an effort to prove one point or another and, probably unintentionally, end up proving different points altogether.
Take for instance our delightful British friends, responsible for giving the world Colonialism and Oasis. Thanks, UK! You guys are swell. In recent years, however, the UK has become known not so much for disinterested shitty butt rock and the oppression of whole regions of the Earth so much as fat asses. Huge, cockney fat asses. People like to think Americans are the fattest people in the world, but in the UK they’ve declared it an official health crisis as it seems likely they’re going to sink England into the sea if it keeps up.
That being said, someone decided to rub it in a little by pointing out just how fat Brits are, all in the interests of good health. And it wasn’t the traditional chant of “fatty fat fat fat” that most scientists use to prove a point about obesity, they decided to hit below the belt that the fatties can’t even see past.
According to survey data from Scotland, 73% of Brits can’t be bothered to have sex. Because they eat so much bacon or whatever. 73%! Interestingly, only 52% couldn’t walk the dog, indicating people are more interested in walking the dog than fucking. But here’s where the survey falls apart as the people behind it contend it’s about obesity and health. But if that’s the case, why such a big difference between dog walkers and humpers? How can health affect one so much more than the other. Why would people want to walk the dog more than having sex? Oh, we have ideas…
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Ugh...British
