Lil’Wayne Goes To Jail Today, We Honor Him in Song

Because of a 2007 gun possession, insane rapper Lil’Wayne was sentenced to 12 month on Rikers Island prison – a sentence he will be starting today. Luckily for Lil’Wayne fans he shot a bunch of videos for songs off of his new album, making sure we will not be left without some modicum of musical lunacy.

We here at Funny Crave love us some Lil’Wayne. His music is the lyrical equivalent of a ‘shrooms trip while walking through a 3^rd rate carnival fun house. So, to honor Mr. Wayne, we have written some lyrics to a song that we hope Wayne will one day use in one of his lovely tunes. These lyrics serve to honor Lil’Wayne, so they were written with his lyrical stylizing in mind.

Enjoy…

Gonna go to prison, gonna serve some jail time,

Gotta get my ass tight, don’t wanna get covered in dick slime.

Gettin’ my shanks ready, don’t wanna get stabbed,

Oh, look there! I’m the bitch to a nigga named Babs.

I watched a lot of Oz, I studied their moves,

I think while in jail I might grow some hooves.

I think I’ll find God, I think I’ll find Jesus,

I’ll grab’em by the neck and punch them as much as I pleases.

There ain’t no way I’ll ever eat prison broccoli,

I’ll stab any nigga that ever tries to cock me.

Dung Beetles, Sasquatches, Five dollar foot long,

When I’m done with prison they’ll see who got the long dong.

So off now I go to the land where rape’s a-plenty,

Little do they know I got a bear trap in my panties.