Harc! Alas! Dark Abyss! It’s Bad Poetry Day!
By Luis Prada
...sucks!
The Internet tells me it’s Bad Poetry Day. The day were we all remove the snobby little bug from our collective asses and appreciate all the hard work that millions of goateed, coffee house hipsters have poured in to their terrible rhyming tomes.
In celebration of this great day, I will now provide you, the Funny Crave reader (all 7 of you), with an original work of poetry that I just came up with. I hope you hate it!
The tome of the Tubes
The internets is a pit of tits
My! What a blitz of Tits Pits!
Oh, what glory be given to the Goatse!
Stretched beyond your means,
It looks infected. Quick! Vaccines!
LOlcat as silly as can be,
You were never meant for the bourgeoisie,
But for me!
Fuck, I’m awesome.
If you are an actual reader of this site, then, please, leave us a poorly thought out poem in the comments section and let us know that people are actually reading what we write.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009 2:20PM
I yearned and came in search of boobs,
of which you subdued
with laughter only sick jokes can do
To you i must confess
with this site i am truly impressed
I am left only to guess
what could possibly come next
Tuesday, August 18, 2009 11:40PM
The man holds his mouse
Vainly clicking and flicking
He seeks for the porn
With the sticking and licking
He knows that its out there
glorious titties and ass
But his wife knows too
And she changed the pass…word
Wednesday, August 19, 2009 4:14AM
Snow is great falling upon the suns of the heavy rains of time in the bearded glory of the ocean
oh if I were that beard!
How I would flourish in the abysmal reigns of the horse maunure of our ever flowing gods
what it would mean to me
but don't get too attached
this is just shitty poetry.
(By the way guys, keep writing. Your work is fantastic.)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009 11:29AM
The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.
-Paula N. Millstone
Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:32PM
Good job, guys! These fucking suck!