Hannah Mons Venus…wait, what?

Shhh, it's illegal!

Because society is only crumbly like a well aged cheese and not the ruins of an ancient civilization in the throes of an earthquake at this point, Miley Cyrus decided to scourge all our brains by pole dancing at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards.  Hold on to your souls, kids.

The 16 year old menace to good taste, good music, television and attempting to forget Billy Ray Cyrus was performing her newest factory produced aural lobotomy when she decided it would be a good idea to take a swing around the stank pole.  And by decided we mean her handlers carefully calculated well in advance that a 16 year old girl with a fan base made up of 90% pre teen girls and 10% sexual predators should make use of a prop that will for all time be unmistakably associated with women grinding their bare, wind-burnt vaginas on it.

As an added touch of class in a story already swimming in it and occasionally swallowing some and puking it back into the pool the performance starts with Cyrus coming out of a trailer, because at this point it’s quaint and charming to suggest she’s an inbred hick who lives in a trailer and probably would be earning her keep on a stripper pole these days if Disney hadn’t purchased her outright and kept her penned up in some Florida stable where she’s required to produce X number of albums, TV shows and made for TV movies a year lest she be shot.  Children’s entertainment is awesome.