“Glenn Beck Suspended,” Assumes Internet

Fox News asshat Glenn Back may have been suspended due to his comments on Fox’s morning show ‘Fox and Friends’ in which he labeled President Barack Obama as a racist. That or he’s on vacation. No one has a clue. It’s all pure speculation as of the time of this posting, but one this is for sure — he’s not behind his desk; therefore, it is time to rejoice!

This almost non-story began on Monday when millions of Fox News viewers (no, seriously, they have millions of viewers…yeah, I know, right?) tuned in to Glenn’s show to get their daily dose of angry white guy rage. Much to the dismay of these millions of viewers, Glenn wasn’t there. They all then blamed socialism, fascism, and black Hitler for Glenn’s absence.

Seeing as the story has absolutely no merit, and has in no way been confirmed by any major news source, it has been solely discussed and propagated by the mighty blogosphere. This has led to some rather entertaining blog posts about the story that were clearly written in haste just after the story hit Google trends’ top 100 (like this post).

News.about-knowledge.com, for example, ran the headline “Glenn Beck Suspended.” The article the headline is attached to then goes on to negate it sensationalistic headline by saying…

“ a new wave of criticism awaits Beck when he’s back on job as the person who is off to a one-week LEAVE, is rumored to have been suspended.”

Everything before and after that line is basically just a Glenn Beck bio, and it’s a fairly poor one at that. Example: I did not know that “His mother and a brother did suicide.” Two loved ones committing suicide is terrible, but, thanks to News.about-knowledge.com’s grade-A coverage of the story, I can infer that Glenn’s mother and brother did suicide, but were not fans of the end result so they never did it again. Thanks, News.about-knowledge.com. I did learning today.