Get Your Coochie Immortalized as a Necklace

Vaginas are universally known as the prettier of the two types of genitalia. They’re perfect little buds of joy, while penises are hideous demon creatures wiggling their way out of hell. Before, if you wanted someone to notice the beauty that is your vagina you had to either have sex with a dude or you wore no panties as you continuously dropped pens in the office. The fine folks over at Esty.com want to change all that. They’re giving you ladies out there the chance to show off your vagina to the world by allowing you to send in a picture of your “Yoni” (their words), and having of their master craftsmen sculpt it in to a lovely necklace pendent so you can wear it around town where it will probably spark many a conversation that would probably start off like this, “Uh, ‘mam? Did you grow up near a nuclear power plant?”

Seeing we’re a somewhat safe-for-work kind of site, we’re not going to show you the pussy pendants and charms. If you want to have a look at the un-blurred vagina necklaces just click the picture above to reveal the magic. Or, you can read our extremely graphic descriptions of each vagina from the picture.

Top row, Left – Black vagina: Remember at the beginning of Return of the Jedi when Luke enters Jabba’s palace and all you see of his is a black silhouette of a black cloaked figure? Well, it’s like that, just imagine that Luke had been messing around with his light saber and he accidentally burned the edges of his cloak a few minutes before he entered.

Top row, right – Small white vagina: A triangle cut open-faced sandwich with a lima bean at the top.

Bottom Row, left – Large White vagina: A White lily flower, just replace the yellow lily center with some pink, and replace all the white parts with a five o’clock shadow.

Bottom row, center – Medium white vagina: A leprechaun’s shoe made entirely of raw bacon

Bottom row, right – Large white vagina: If you wore the necklace with that pendant on it, it would look like you ate your lunch in a rush and 2 slices of thickly cut roast beef fell on to your chest.